Idiotic People Should Not Have Children

Last night was just a nightmare. Pop some popcorn and grab a beer then settle in for my tale of woe.

I went to go workout in the apartment complex fitness center. It is pretty nice with a good selection of cardio, circuit training and free-weight areas. It was pretty late but it seems to work out for me. I arrive at the center to find four kids playing on the equipment. These kids range in age from seven to 14/15. Even though there is a posted rule about no one under 16 being in the place without an adult, I put in my headphones and try to ignore the kids.

This was impossible. The youngest boy was on the treadmill next to me trying to break a land speed record. A nine year old girl was running on another treadmill, jumping off and then jumping back on in order to be thrown off at the highest velocity. Did I mention she was in Crocs? Besides the obvious injury potential, it was also very annoying. Another young boy (probably eight), was hanging from the lateral pull-down circuit machine. The oldest boy, 14 or 15 years old, was running on a treadmill. I can't recommend his form but he really wasn't bothering me.

The oldest kid and one of the little boys left after 20 minutes. I kept telling myself to just keep working out and ignore the other two. I tried my best until the youngest kid, who had now bopped around on every piece of equipment returned to the treadmill. He was once again going at a high rate of speed when he lost his balance and was thrown off nearly cracking his head open. That was the last straw. I turned to both of the remaining kids and asked where their parents were. The girl responded that they were on the other side of the pool. I told them that they were not allowed to be in the room without their parents. The girl asked where it said that. I pointed to the sign on the wall. Additionally, I told them that the equipment was not meant to a playground. They left without any further resistance.

I proceeded with my workout noticing that the kids were all outside running around the pool. They were now engaged in some sort of pool noodle fight. It was 11:15pm and the pool had closed at 10:00pm. The activity stopped and I noticed the youngest boy and a man looking at me through the window. It was a little freaky so I called Randy. I just wanted to let him know about the situation and tell him that I would call him for my walk home in ten minutes.

I called Randy back when I was getting ready to leave in a couple of minutes. As I was on the phone, the man used his access card to let the boy into the fitness center. The boy proceeded to get on the treadmill next to me and start punching any button he could find. I inadvertently hung up on Randy and said "That's it, where is your father?" The kid pointed outside. I asked him to accompany me. I walked with the kid towards the other side of the pool where a group of adults were drinking. I said "Who does this child belong to?" The man I had seen before approached saying it was his son. I proceeded to tell him that his children had been disruptive, disrespectful of the equipment and very likely to get hurt. I told him that the complex does not allow children under 16 in the fitness center without an adult. The man told me that I seemed to have a problem other than his kids. He also said that he seriously doubted that his kids could hurt the equipment. I outlined the numerous ways his children were hurting the equipment and themselves.

Randy, being concerned about me, came walking in the pool area. I told Randy everything was okay. The man was walking off. I went back to the fitness center to get the rest of my stuff. It was at that point that I noticed they had left the place a mess. There was a half eaten chocolate donut in the water fountain. Who the heck raises their kids like this?

This morning I went to the office to complain. The complex manager seemed very concerned. He had actually gone to the pool area at 11:30pm to lock up after a party in the clubhouse. He said that there was no one in the pool area or fitness center. I must have just missed him. He did say that he cleaned up the mess in the fitness center. He said he would be able to determine who's card had been used to access the center. I told him between 10:30pm and 11:30pm, it was only me and the kids' father.

How these people made it this far with four kids is beyond me. What a dolt!